I haven't been online much in the past week and a half because my mom was visiting from California. She met the baby, we hung out and did normal daily stuff. We visited my sister in New Hampshire. We had lots of fun and many adventures. She even got to see the baby roll over for the first time! I decided to just mostly unplug and just enjoy our time with her.
I have a really interesting family. We are all over the place. I was born in Southern California, then moved to Central California as a baby. I grew up there. After graduation I moved to New Hampshire to live with my mom for a bit (parents divorced when I was 6). I met DJ at a festival in Pennsylvania and he lived in New Jersey. Within the year I had moved to NJ to be with DJ. I was 19 and clearly insane. Many family members of mine have similar stories...this happened, that happened and they ended up moving away. We just don't stay where we are raised for the most part. I've got an aunt in Kansas, my dad is in Washington State, my mom is back in California, my cousin in in Las Vegas, another Aunt in Colorado.... we just don't stay where we started. We are very independent people who go after what we want. Despite the distance my family is very close. We would do anything for each other. I haven't seen my cousin Jennifer in years and I could show up at her front door. She would be shocked and probably faint... but after she picked herself off the floor she would usher me inside and feed me. Most of the time living far from everyone doesn't bother me too much. I'm just used to it. I go about my daily life and if I miss someone, I call them. Facebook has been great to keep up with everyone's lives and help me feel connected. There are times though, where it's very lonely and I miss my family intensely. Usually it's at a milestone: the birth of a baby, a baby shower, housewarming party for our new house, a birthday. It's those moments when I look at all my beautiful friend's faces knowing my family isn't there. I have some of the best friends you can imagine, but to have my aunts at a baby dedication? That would be amazing. Having a ton of family smooshed into my house for Thanksgiving dinner? I would love it. Knowing that my cousin Larl could drop by any time to play in the sandbox with Caleb? Priceless. To have my grandparents be part of my kids lives? I would love it. I do not have "ready made babysitters". Trinity doesn't get to have "cousin time" because me and my sister are having dinner together again. Trinity doesn't get to take off with Grandpa on his motorcycle for a nice long ride. I did not have my mother around to help take care of me after the birth of my kids. It's really hard sometimes... and today is one of those days. I dropped my mom off at the airport yesterday morning to go back home. I saw my sister and niece and nephew this past weekend for a long weekend. They are gone, and I'm sad about it. Having them present with me for a short time makes it all the more noticeable when they are gone. So this post is for my family. ALL of you. Dad, mom, step dad, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, second cousins and anyone else I share blood with or married into my family. I LOVE YOU ALL. I miss all of you. I wish we could share life together in person. And to the family I chose... you know who you are. Our friends who have become family. Thank you. Thank you for filling the gap and being amazing. Thank you for watching my kids. Thank you for meals after my babies were born. Thank you for cookies. Thank you for housekeeping help. Thank you for being you. I love you guys too.
2 Comments
Mom
10/29/2015 10:28:12 pm
I am crying now and i can't see what I am texting. I love you and miss all of those things to do much. I wish we could always be near each other 😥
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Auntie Lynn
10/30/2015 12:14:02 am
Silently sobbing inside. I love you with all that I am. I can feel you in my soul, for we are connected beyond the miles that separate us.
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